So, word around the street says that Micheal Jackson died today. Well, I'm here to tell you that it's all LIES. That's right, like Evils, Micheal Jackson is not really dead. Unlike Elvis, Micheal Jackson was not taken by aliens--Micheal's plot is much more... sinister.
At Micheal Jackson's burial, there will be a priest with a deep, foreboding voice speaking over his grave. As the coffin is lowered slowly into the grave, the priest will suddenly start to say:
"The foulest stench is in the air,
The funk of forty-thousand years
And grisly ghouls from every tomb
Are closing in to seal your doom.
And though you fight to stay alive,
Your body starts to shiver,
For no meer mortal can resist the evil...
...of...
the THRRRRRILLEERRRRRRR."
And then Micheal Jackson will jump out of his coffin, onto the damp grass, his skin color (and race!) will be changed to that of a zombie, and he will start to dance, . The procession, entranced by the power of The Thriller, will begin to dance as well, and thus Micheal Jackson will have successfully re-booted his life.
R.I.P Micheal Jackson, even though he was a creep.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Disgaea Rant Time!
Hello all of you one followers! Today seems like a good day to rant about the Disgaea series, since I stupidly went on a videogame look-up spree involving that series (a videogame look-up spree is when I start to look up random ass games I play on all sorts of different sites).
Just to put this out there before I start my rant, if you haven't played Disgaea and Disgaea 2, go play them now. Seriously, best games ever. If you haven't played Disgaea 3, go play it and tell me if it's really just me (you'll know what I mean later).
So, I was wandering around on the internets, and randomly decided to look up the various NIS strategy games. This eventually, as a matter of course, led me to the Disgaea franchise, which thus lead me to Disgaea 3. To put it simply, I love-HATE Disgaea 3, with emphasis on the HATE.
As far as the series goes, Disgaea 3 definitely has the most depth out of the three--there's all sorts of crazy stuff you can do in combat, monsters are actually kind've usefull, and there are now geocubes which explode when you throw like colors adjacent to eachother.
However, gameplay will only take me so far. Mind you, with a NIS strategy game, gameplay can take me QUITE far (just look at the hours I've clocked into Disgaea 1 and 2--I think it'd be safe to say about 200 hours each). However, Disgaea 1 and 2 both had a loveble cast and a pretty decent story (Disgaea 2 more so than 1 for story, but the original still had a good story). Disgaea 3, however, lacks that COMPLETELY. The story is essentially the same as Disgaea 1's story, except all of the great characters the original had are replaced with incredibly obnoxious characters with bad voice acting. For instance, the main character Mao sounds like a stereo-typically cartoon-geek, except he makes orgasm noises whenever the thought of doing something evil comes up (which, considering the series is a lot). The Japanese sound track, which NIS always includes, couldn't solve this issue for me either because the Japanese Mao, whose regular voice is more tolerable, still makes fucking orgasm noises. In the end, the only character I liked remotly was Almaz, who, in a nutshell, is pretty much Flonne minus some Flonne and plus some Gordon--a wannabe hero who believes in all things good and huggable who gets rapped-up in Mao's evil (and it isn't even), orgasm-inducing plot to kill his father. Regardless, they actually do some decent character developement with Almaz, so I'll give him some credit there.
Anyway, more on the plot: as stated above, Mao is plotting to kill his father so that he can become overlord, all while attending this evil demon school. The evil demon school, is just dumb. I won't go into it, just think about it a bit and that's probably exactly how it is. As for killing his father, his epic plot is to kidnap a hero and take his hero title, so he can become a hero and kill his father while making orgasm noises. Regardless, it's pretty much just about Mao, and evil person at heart, learning the importance of love and friendship *cough disgaea1 cough*. As previously stated, the only character that developes in any way I noticed because of this is Almaz, as when he loses his hero title, he gets a demon title, and thus starts to act more selfishly.
Now that summaries are done, I'd like to display why I felt the need to go on this rant (from wikipedia):
"YES", I thought, "SOMEONE is thinking on the same level as me!" Then I read the review, where they pretty much just bitched about the graphics. They even stated that the story was only really tarnished by the fact that dialogue is done through static protraits: "I will admit that the story did start to intrigue me a bit as I invested more hours into the experience, but watching everything play out through static portrait cutscenes is getting excruciatingly old. I understand that having the pictures of the characters with dialogue below is a "classic" device, but I'm beginning to feel the need for something different -- I've seen it far too many times now. It would have been tolerable had there been more variations on the portraits, but each character only has three or four to speak of and it gets tiring very quickly." A valid complaint: yes; really all that big of a deal compared to the OTHER GLARRINGLY HUGE ISSUES: no.
In short, I appear to be the only human on this planet who has played Disgaea 3 and truly distasted the characters and the story (I haven't gone into all of them--trust me. In fact, I didn't even meet all of them before giving up on the story--after a butt-load of game time--and just randomly leveling). So, a mission to all of you: play it, compare it to Disgaea 1 and 2, and tell me if it really is bad, or if I've just matured out of my highschoolhood too much to enjoy it, and still enjoy Disgaea 1 and 2 because of the very special place they will always hold in my heart and soul. I needs to know.
Oh yeah, one last complaint: the pacing in the story is also really bad. Each chapter is RIDICULOUSLY long with a lot of dialogue and such that doesn't really seem to move the story anywhere. Also, all of the cool cameo characters and some of the classic monsters are only available through DLC this time around, as an epic plot to milk me of moneys, which I HAVEN'T FALLEN FOR!
Good Night, and Good Luck.
Just to put this out there before I start my rant, if you haven't played Disgaea and Disgaea 2, go play them now. Seriously, best games ever. If you haven't played Disgaea 3, go play it and tell me if it's really just me (you'll know what I mean later).
So, I was wandering around on the internets, and randomly decided to look up the various NIS strategy games. This eventually, as a matter of course, led me to the Disgaea franchise, which thus lead me to Disgaea 3. To put it simply, I love-HATE Disgaea 3, with emphasis on the HATE.
As far as the series goes, Disgaea 3 definitely has the most depth out of the three--there's all sorts of crazy stuff you can do in combat, monsters are actually kind've usefull, and there are now geocubes which explode when you throw like colors adjacent to eachother.
However, gameplay will only take me so far. Mind you, with a NIS strategy game, gameplay can take me QUITE far (just look at the hours I've clocked into Disgaea 1 and 2--I think it'd be safe to say about 200 hours each). However, Disgaea 1 and 2 both had a loveble cast and a pretty decent story (Disgaea 2 more so than 1 for story, but the original still had a good story). Disgaea 3, however, lacks that COMPLETELY. The story is essentially the same as Disgaea 1's story, except all of the great characters the original had are replaced with incredibly obnoxious characters with bad voice acting. For instance, the main character Mao sounds like a stereo-typically cartoon-geek, except he makes orgasm noises whenever the thought of doing something evil comes up (which, considering the series is a lot). The Japanese sound track, which NIS always includes, couldn't solve this issue for me either because the Japanese Mao, whose regular voice is more tolerable, still makes fucking orgasm noises. In the end, the only character I liked remotly was Almaz, who, in a nutshell, is pretty much Flonne minus some Flonne and plus some Gordon--a wannabe hero who believes in all things good and huggable who gets rapped-up in Mao's evil (and it isn't even), orgasm-inducing plot to kill his father. Regardless, they actually do some decent character developement with Almaz, so I'll give him some credit there.
Anyway, more on the plot: as stated above, Mao is plotting to kill his father so that he can become overlord, all while attending this evil demon school. The evil demon school, is just dumb. I won't go into it, just think about it a bit and that's probably exactly how it is. As for killing his father, his epic plot is to kidnap a hero and take his hero title, so he can become a hero and kill his father while making orgasm noises. Regardless, it's pretty much just about Mao, and evil person at heart, learning the importance of love and friendship *cough disgaea1 cough*. As previously stated, the only character that developes in any way I noticed because of this is Almaz, as when he loses his hero title, he gets a demon title, and thus starts to act more selfishly.
Now that summaries are done, I'd like to display why I felt the need to go on this rant (from wikipedia):
- Jordan Jackson from RandomNPC said "Taken as a whole, this is probably the strongest cast yet, narrowly edging out the trio of Disgaea 1."
- It is worth noting, however, that reviewers have praised the new innovations to the battle system and have often stated that it is the best of the trilogy, despite the lower scores.
"YES", I thought, "SOMEONE is thinking on the same level as me!" Then I read the review, where they pretty much just bitched about the graphics. They even stated that the story was only really tarnished by the fact that dialogue is done through static protraits: "I will admit that the story did start to intrigue me a bit as I invested more hours into the experience, but watching everything play out through static portrait cutscenes is getting excruciatingly old. I understand that having the pictures of the characters with dialogue below is a "classic" device, but I'm beginning to feel the need for something different -- I've seen it far too many times now. It would have been tolerable had there been more variations on the portraits, but each character only has three or four to speak of and it gets tiring very quickly." A valid complaint: yes; really all that big of a deal compared to the OTHER GLARRINGLY HUGE ISSUES: no.
In short, I appear to be the only human on this planet who has played Disgaea 3 and truly distasted the characters and the story (I haven't gone into all of them--trust me. In fact, I didn't even meet all of them before giving up on the story--after a butt-load of game time--and just randomly leveling). So, a mission to all of you: play it, compare it to Disgaea 1 and 2, and tell me if it really is bad, or if I've just matured out of my highschoolhood too much to enjoy it, and still enjoy Disgaea 1 and 2 because of the very special place they will always hold in my heart and soul. I needs to know.
Oh yeah, one last complaint: the pacing in the story is also really bad. Each chapter is RIDICULOUSLY long with a lot of dialogue and such that doesn't really seem to move the story anywhere. Also, all of the cool cameo characters and some of the classic monsters are only available through DLC this time around, as an epic plot to milk me of moneys, which I HAVEN'T FALLEN FOR!
Good Night, and Good Luck.
Monday, June 15, 2009
This Post is Only Readable by People in North America
This blog post is region-coded so that only people from North America can read it. It was decided to be this way so that I can sell this blog post to peoples outside of North America for a higher price, even though I might get more readers by just letting Spanish people try to translate this blog post.
<>
If you haven't already figured it out, I'm starting a rant about region coding. You see, I recently remembered that a new version of my favoritest fighting game ever is coming out for the PS2 soon, and it looks super shiny. Normally, I would just *blank* such games (I PLEAD THE 5TH!), but I like this branch of fighting games so much that I actually want to SUPPORT THE COMPANY and BUY IT. Unfortunately, old Sony doesn't want my business, because I'm white, or, more specifically, because I'm not in Japan.
That's right--it's region coded for the PS2. If it were a PS3 game, that wouldn't be an issue, but it isn't (probably because producing a game like this for the PS3 would cost more than it's worth). And so, I think I want to look at and critique why in the world companies loooooooooooove region coding (because they obviously do, since they keep on doing it, the fudgers--BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I REALLY TYPED).
So, I couldn't think of any reason why it's good on private contemplation, since I'm a huge supporter of free trade and all that jazz, and thus was not able to comprehend why in the world free trade would be so disinsentivized. So, we go to wikipedia, where they say:
Now, I'm going to talk about why some of the points on the first list are stupid. Namely, the point on censorship. Censorship is dumb. Sure, it is very arguable that violent video games, movies, parents, and abusive dogs can have a big impact on a child. However, it IS NOT the responsibility of companies to make sure that kids who cannot remove themself from a game or movie after they have finished playing or watching said game or movie, but the responsibility of that child's PARENTS. The movie and video game industry has been nice enough to provide us with these nifty things called ratings (ESRB ratings in the video game industry) that makes this job INFINITELY easier for parents to accomplish, but that still doesn't make it the manufacturer's responsibility to ensure that a snively 12 year old brat doesn't play Grand Theft Auto and decide that he should go steal a car, hire a hooker, run over grandma on the way, and then kill the hooker and take all of his/her money in real life--that is the parents' job, gifted to them by G-d, God, Buddha, or Survival of the Least Retarded (The Sperm and the Egg just didn't seem like an appropriately godly name to me), whichever you believe.
That being said, I was really dissappointed when playing Xenosaga episodes II and III when I noticed the strange lack of any sort of blood when there very should've been blood--it made it look silly. And then I became even more dissappointed when I realized that blood was present in those scenes in the Japanese version, and that us STOOPID AMERRYKANS decided that OMG, RED PIXELS ARE TOO GRAPHIC, GET RID OF IT, GET RID OF IT! Seriously people, you live with the fucking fluid, get over it. Also, breasts are breasts. It's not like you have never seen a pair before. Same with penises.
OH YEAH, I forgot: WARNING: THE FOLLOWING BLOG MIGHT USE NAUGHTY WORDS, LIKE BREAST, AND PENIS, AND DEPICTS CORPORATIONS ANALY RAPING THEIR CUSTOMERS.
*EDIT* Well, a pair of penises very well probably is a new thing for most people... unless you are into some kinky stuff. Or if you are a sexually active homosexual (nothing wrong with that either). *END EDIT*
< /rant>
<>
If you haven't already figured it out, I'm starting a rant about region coding. You see, I recently remembered that a new version of my favoritest fighting game ever is coming out for the PS2 soon, and it looks super shiny. Normally, I would just *blank* such games (I PLEAD THE 5TH!), but I like this branch of fighting games so much that I actually want to
That's right--it's region coded for the PS2. If it were a PS3 game, that wouldn't be an issue, but it isn't (probably because producing a game like this for the PS3 would cost more than it's worth). And so, I think I want to look at and critique why in the world companies loooooooooooove region coding (because they obviously do, since they keep on doing it, the fudgers--BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I REALLY TYPED).
So, I couldn't think of any reason why it's good on private contemplation, since I'm a huge supporter of free trade and all that jazz, and thus was not able to comprehend why in the world free trade would be so disinsentivized. So, we go to wikipedia, where they say:
- Allow for companies to have seperate release dates in seperate countries, which can make it cheaper to release (fair enough).
- Allow for games to be feesibly released in countries that have stricter censorship laws (which is fair enough, but I'll get back to this point later).
- Allows for different country branches to be more economically feaseble (e.g. NIS America v.s. NIS--fair enough, I guess).
- Allow for price discrimination by region, thus making companies some more money (i.e. a company can sell a product in one country for a higher price than another without free of people bypassing their home country's price by importing).
- Allow for companies to milk more moneys out of us because companies are sometimes run by smart assholes.
- Allow for companies to analy rape its fans and make money while doing it.
- Gives reasons for some people to write complanative blog posts.
- Allows for free trade.
- Insentivises more interaction between different cultures.
- Insentivises actually learning about different cultures.
- Creates a great way for people to learn a new language.
- Gives a great reason for people to learn a new language.
- Allows for customers who like "untainted" (i.e. un-localized, purer, etc) products to easily obtain said "untainted" products.
- Disinsentivises previously mentioned "purer-is-better" people from obtaining said product illegally, which is win-win really.
- Allows for people to get products that will probably never be localized in their home country legally.
- Disinsentiveses people who like products that will probably never get released locally to actually obtain said products legally.
- Allows for companies who are not international to still receive money from the international market, instead of just having a bunch of foreigners essentially steal all of their games.
- Disinsentiveses people from modding their consoles, which while it has many legal uses, it also has far more illegal uses.
- Allows people to not have to pay a company to analy rape them. I mean seriously.
Now, I'm going to talk about why some of the points on the first list are stupid. Namely, the point on censorship. Censorship is dumb. Sure, it is very arguable that violent video games, movies, parents, and abusive dogs can have a big impact on a child. However, it IS NOT the responsibility of companies to make sure that kids who cannot remove themself from a game or movie after they have finished playing or watching said game or movie, but the responsibility of that child's PARENTS. The movie and video game industry has been nice enough to provide us with these nifty things called ratings (ESRB ratings in the video game industry) that makes this job INFINITELY easier for parents to accomplish, but that still doesn't make it the manufacturer's responsibility to ensure that a snively 12 year old brat doesn't play Grand Theft Auto and decide that he should go steal a car, hire a hooker, run over grandma on the way, and then kill the hooker and take all of his/her money in real life--that is the parents' job, gifted to them by G-d, God, Buddha, or Survival of the Least Retarded (The Sperm and the Egg just didn't seem like an appropriately godly name to me), whichever you believe.
That being said, I was really dissappointed when playing Xenosaga episodes II and III when I noticed the strange lack of any sort of blood when there very should've been blood--it made it look silly. And then I became even more dissappointed when I realized that blood was present in those scenes in the Japanese version, and that us STOOPID AMERRYKANS decided that OMG, RED PIXELS ARE TOO GRAPHIC, GET RID OF IT, GET RID OF IT! Seriously people, you live with the fucking fluid, get over it. Also, breasts are breasts. It's not like you have never seen a pair before. Same with penises.
OH YEAH, I forgot: WARNING: THE FOLLOWING BLOG MIGHT USE NAUGHTY WORDS, LIKE BREAST, AND PENIS, AND DEPICTS CORPORATIONS ANALY RAPING THEIR CUSTOMERS.
*EDIT* Well, a pair of penises very well probably is a new thing for most people... unless you are into some kinky stuff. Or if you are a sexually active homosexual (nothing wrong with that either). *END EDIT*
< /rant>
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