Rant About the Future

Damn, it has been a long time since I put anything in here.

Anyway, so I came to a realization just now (just now being 10:08 PM, 9/8/2010) that I haven't really gotten out of the mindset that I forced myself into right out of college: I MUST FIND A JOB RIGHT NOW. I find this incredibly odd, since as you all know, I am currently employed, and have absolutely no need to look for a job at the moment.

And yet I still do.

Whenever I come across a company that makes me think, "Wow, they're doing something pretty neat," I almost immediately go to the employment section of their website. Usually these companies are gaming companies: for instance, I just recently (just recently being 10:06 PM, 9/8/2010) went to Team 17's website (since a friend of mine linked me to the newest game available on Worms Steam), saw that they were still actively making games (albeit small games, something I'm admittedly interested in), and then promptly went to their employment section.

In there employment section, I noted that I seemed fully capable of doing what they want out of an employee (at least, from one of the very short job descriptions they provided), and that they were based in the U.K. (specifically Wakefield, Yorkshire). This made me even more excited--IT WAS IN THE UK.

Which brings me to the next aspect of my rant: I seem to feel a need to leave this general geographic area. I want to go to Japan to teach English, I want to go to the West Coast and get a job doing something else there, and, most recently, I've had a huge, nagging urge to run off to the UK. Now, this could be fueled by a few things: perhaps it's because, on average, a European gets more days off/more leeway on the number of hours they work per week than your typical American; or perhaps it's just because I apparently might like it a lot there there. This does not, however, really explain my reasons for liking just about everywhere except here at the moment (although, I could give reasons for all of the listed places).

The real reason, I think, that I feel I need to escape here is this: I am afraid. I am afraid that I will get entirely too comfortable doing a job that I find okay (I do like my co-workers a lot though--I don't want to be a complete whiner here), in an area that I find just okay, simply because it pays the bills, it's cheap, secure, and because I don't completely dislike it (there are some days I actually enjoy it to a degree). The worst part about this: I can totally see myself settling for this, just because it's easy. Fortunately, I don't like that aspect about me, and thanks to the internet, I am being constantly reminded of all of the other things I could be doing (well, could be doing later--I'll definitely give CiBER at least a year), so the chances of me actually sticking around here too long are fairly slim (I hope).

And, admittedly, I am currently enjoying life--I don't really have many complaints with how I am right now.

Anyway, that's all for my rant for now (I'm stoopidly tired). G'night world.